Re: Eyeballs needed.

[Jon Bright <jon%siliconcircus.com@localhost>]

Bill Sommerfeld wrote:
> draft-ietf-secsh-assignednumbers-12.txt:
> 	ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/authors/rfc4250-diff.html
> 	ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/authors/rfc4250.txt

I didn't catch anything.

> draft-ietf-secsh-architecture-22.txt:
> 	ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/authors/rfc4251-diff.html
> 	ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/authors/rfc4251.txt

There are a couple of places where I disagree with the change from 
"which" to "that", but I guess that's a taste thing.  I'm also told that 
British English (which I speak) tends to use "which" more than US 
English, so maybe it's just my dialect showing through.

End of section 9.3.1: "If there are no unsent packages, ..." should be 
"If there are no unsent packets, ...".

Middle of 9.3.3: "If the session stays active long enough, however, this 
sequence number, will wrap." - the comma added after "number" seems 
superfluous to me.

9.5.1: "Implementors SHOULD provide mechanisms for administrators to 
control which services are exposed to limit the..." - seems to me there 
should be an extra comma here: "...which services are exposed, to limit 
the...".  Also, we're using "implementor" here (which I prefer).  But at 
the start of 9.4.3, we have "implementer".  Hopefully no-one's going to 
mention hobgoblins if I suggest that one or the other should be picked 
and used :-)

9.5.3: The sentence beginning "It is RECOMMENDED that X11 display 
implementations default to allow the display..." seems to me more 
awkward after the RFC Editor's changes than it was before them.  My 
version would be: "It is RECOMMENDED that X11 display implementations 
default to allowing the display to be opened only over local IPC.  It is 
RECOMMENDED that SSH server implementations that support X11 forwarding 
default to allowing the display to be opened only over local IPC.  On 
single-user systems systems, it might be reasonable to default to 
allowing the local display to be opened over TCP/IP."


That's all I saw in -architecture.  I'll be reading the others later.

--
Jon Bright
Silicon Circus Ltd.
http://www.siliconcircus.com